Director of Naps and Self-care

My name is Mama. My full name is Mama Tick, because when they found me dumped here on their doorstep, I was so swollen with babies that I looked like a stuffed tick. They have since started just calling me Mama, so I haven’t had to threaten any violence. Mama Tick; psh, the gall!

My title is Director of Naps and Self-care (my own). My duties are:

  1. Napping
  2. Grooming myself
  3. Napping
  4. Eating

I started out as the Nap and Grooming Coordinator, but it was boring and not enough responsibility. For example, napping only showed up once in my job description; I’m a professional, for crying out loud. I didn’t train in napping for six years to take one nap a day. I pride myself on my skills. I’m a self-made cat, except for the part where everybody takes care of me. But I could take care of myself. If I wanted to.

All other pets are jealous of my beauty and poise, so you won’t see me much in the clinic area. They keep my radiance on the administrative side of the building most of the time, to keep tempers in check. My beauty has been known to throw whole waiting rooms into chaos. My beauty is a burden that I and I alone can carry.